4 things you probably aren't combining for a great evening

Low effort, high reward pleasures

This newsletter is nothing but an attempt at edging slowly but surely to a better life. I am not particularly interested in giving you an Atomic Habits-style “4 Things You Aren’t Doing That Will Improve Your Life”. I am just here to show you a few things that have given me unproportionate delight compared to how small these suggestions are. And I apologise for the clickbait.

1. Use wing corkscrews

You have a problem: you got a nice bottle of wine but all you have is a shitty corkscrew that leaves half the cork in the bottle.

I have a solution: The wing corkscrew. It has never failed to open a cork wine. It’s been in my life for at least 30 years. Here is why it’s great:

• When you spin the top around, it slowly raises its arms, like it’s cheering you on for being so good at opening a bottle of wine. And you are!

• The arms are a long lever to help you get the cork out (charming and useful). And you know what they say about long levers.. it’s easier to leverage things.

• This corkscrew has never failed to get a cork out completely (and I can’t say the same about other, lesser corkscrews).

• It’s got a good hefty weight, and is made entirely of metal. It will not break.

You can get newer designed wing corkscrews, but they feel a little over-engineered. Get a simple one, but if you get a new one don’t skimp on the cost. Get one that will last your entire life.

• Here’s a good new option.

• Or you can get a vintage one on eBay to get the right feel. This is the better option.

2. Eat Sicilian olives

Have you heard of these things? I used to be anti-olive, and since I’ve come around on them,I’ve understood Sicilian olives are the Rolls Royce of olives.

Regular olives can be mushy, too salty, and beige. Sicilian olives are firm, buttery, and bright green. These are not the same as other olives.

I hate to pull this image out again, but eating a Sicilian olive was the kind of beauty I could not even imagine before I came to the surface of the cave, ate it, and saw the sun. They are the perfect olive. All other olives are shadows in the cave.

• Olives for people that don’t like olives: when olive haters try this olive, at worst they say it is “fine”, and at best it changes their world view on olives and they continue to eat Sicilian olives. You can’t lose!

• The olive lover’s olive: if you are already #1 olive fan, your life is about to change with these olives.

• If you like things that are buttery, meaty, juicy, and firm, I believe you will enjoy this olive. Available at all good delis.

3. Cook with pale pasta that looks like sandpaper

Normally, I’d rather spend a dollar or two more and enjoy my pasta dish significantly more than get a pasta from which the sauce falls off. When I do choose a shittier pasta, I rue the past self that talked me out of getting the better pasta.

• Pasta that has been bronze cut makes it coarser than the smooth, bottom shelf stuff. When it’s visibly rougher looking (not smooth), you know the sauce you’re cooking with it is going to stick to it.

• It typically is a paler pasta which has also been dried slower so, so the sugars don’t burn off, the texture is better (chewier), and almost certainly doesn’t have any yellow dye in it.

From the article “Effect of die material on engineering properties of dried pasta”:

extrusion with a bronze die induces the production of more porous and less dense pasta, but does not have an impact on pasta shrinkage and volumetric percentage of water lost replaced by air during drying.

More porous = more sauce = more delicious beautiful mouthfuls of pasta.

You don’t need any brand reccs; just make sure it’s pale and rough-textured. As you can see above.

Read more ⬇️ an in-depth guide to pasta purchasing

Pasta

4. Watch Iron Chef

Have you watched this show lately? It opens with a quote on screen, “tell me what you eat, and I’ll show you what you are”, and then this incredble monologue:

Nearly a decade ago, a man's fantasy became a reality in a forum never seen before: Kitchen Stadium, a giant cooking arena. The motivation for spending his fortune to create Kitchen Stadium was to encounter new original cuisines which could be called true artistic creations. To realize his dream, he first secretly started choosing the top chefs of various styles of cooking, and he named his men the Iron Chefs: the invincible men of culinary skills.

• Using your fortune to create a huge, theatrical stadium in honour of your need to try new and fun foods is a beautiully powerful, noble, and whimsical endeavour. No one said no to him, he made a literal theatre, then made potatoes the theme of the day.

• Putting your iron chefs in campy outfits to make sure they fit the theme is an important reminder that theme dressing can, in fact, make your day.

• The food looks so dogshit all the time, partly because food presentation has evolved, and mostly because it looks like it was filmed on a bad point and shoot. Perhaps they ran out of budget after spending it all on a the Kitchen Stadium, a giant cooking arena. There’s a tomato episode where a contenstant serves a dish which looks like the result of a bad bout of gastro.

It’s the dichotomy of how terrible the food can look compared to the grandiosity of the show that makes it wonderful. The passion exuding from the commentators, the chefs, and The Chairman doesn’t give you any other option than to believe what they are eating and experiencing is sublime.

This beautiful pursuit should be conserved, because how else do we find joy in things?

You can watch full episodes of Iron Chef on YouTube. And if you’re eating pasta, here’s the Battle Noodle episode to match. Crushed to say there is no olive episode.

Let me know if you try one or more of these things. Especially the olives tbh, they really are a life-changer.

See you in a fortnight :)